Sparkle Picnic

FIVE TWEETS!

@sparklepicnic *russian accent* I do not understand this ‘shitting bricks’. You are pooping bricks? Like stone? Are you sick?

@sparklepicnic Someday I hope I can be as enthusiastic about something as my dog is about eating rabbit poop.

@sparklepicnic The only thing to fear is fear itself. And bedbugs.

‏@sparklepicnic Part of me says “go to sleep”, the other part of me says “kill your wife, eat the body, nobody will know if you eat the body”.

‏@sparklepicnic My new favorite game is “what’s gonna happen?” I grease up my feets, grab 2 steak knives and run around the dining room. WHATS GONNA HAPPEN!

If I ever decide to kill myself…

Sex on TV is so unrealistic…

Three guys walk into a bar…

TWEETS : Grandma’s Freezer

Jason, I’d like some soy milk, please.

CELL PHONE VIDS, YO : Vagina Water Bottle

Her impression of me is perfectly exact.